We're in the middle of a whole IT regeneration at work - and guess who is in charge? It absolutely sucks as there's lots of changes happening in the network and on the computers and of course you know who the go-to girl is when something doesn't work. I now officially hate computers, IT, “migrations” and networks. The only thing I love is techies that can fix my problems. Thankfully we have those. Love to Alan, Alan, Mark, and Niall, but particularly Alan Neville, who has been our main techie and general computer genius, apart from speaking quite good Spanish!
Anyway I don't want to talk about that here - I have enough thinking about it at work. Thankfully the week finished early on Friday afternoon when Bridget and I hopped in Gary's car and made our way down to Portumna to pick up our boat for the weekend! Hello sailor! The drive down was fairly long but enjoyable - the sunshine was brilliant and it always feels great to not be at work when you should be! On top of that on the way down Caroline from Concern (Ireland's biggest aid agency) rang Gary to say we'd won the project with them, which created lots of excitement in the car as it was a project Gary really wanted, and is really interested in doing. It was great ringing Una and Conor who had worked with Gary on the proposal, and also Roddy who was in France but was really happy for Gary. Everyone was ecstatic especially as earlier in the week we'd also won a big project with Davy, a wealth management company, which Gary had almost literally sweated blood to get. It certainly created a good reason to celebrate over the weekend!
When we got to the boat I was surprised as it was smaller than I thought it would be, but that proved to be only at first glance. There were four bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room and three bathrooms on board, plus a sundeck (yay!). Michael, Una and John had bought mountains (and I mean mountains) of food on the way up so we started nibbling straight away - wine, cheese and crackers on the sundeck. I could get used to a life like that. We were still moored so I went for a quick swim in the Shannon, as I really wanted to swim and knowing Irish weather it may have been my first and last opportunity. The water was fresh but not cold. If it wasn't so slimy and green/brown it would have been quite pleasant. Then into the boat for our first bit of actual cruising. The boat didn't go very fast but Una and I both had our “Titanic” moments - standing at the prow of the ship with our arms outstretched. I must admit that I never saw the attraction in boating - why rich people would go out and buy a yacht was completely beyond me. I found out that this mindframe was a direct result of my never actually having been on a boat in my life (other than the odd ferry or two) since boating is actually great fun if you can put up with the cramped conditions.
After about half an hour of cruising we stopped at Terryglass for a pint and ended up staying and eating dinner there at the Derg Inn. Dinner was delicious and fun, and we went back to the boat for a round of Trivial Pursuit. I was looking forward to it all night as it's my favourite board game in the world. We split up into two teams - Gary John and I against Una, Michael and Bridget. At the first roll of the die I felt a slight rise in tension in the cabin, but shrugged it off as pre-Trivial Pursuit jitters (sometimes the excitement of Trivial Pursuit becomes a little too much for me). That rise in tension turned out to be only a precursor to what was to come.
Board games, while fun, are inherently competitive. So are some people. I, myself, sometimes surrender to the rage, despair and adrenaline of the lust for winning. Ask anyone that's ever played Pictionary with me - that game turns me into a wild beast beyond reason or even the capacity for cognition. And in a similar manner, aided and abetted by several glasses of wine, it didn't take long for my colleagues to turn over to the Dark Side. Pretty soon the air was thick with insults, accusations, and indignation. People who I have witnessed have reasoned and intelligent conversations on anything from politics and religion to whether or not broccoli is a natural or man-made vegetable and whether or not peanuts come from the ground (I swear) were reduced to this:
“We won that wedgie fair and square”
“You did not.”
“Give us the wedgie!”
“No!”
“Give us the wedgie...now!”
“NO! That's not fair!” *big pout*
“Is too. Now I'm taking the wedgie, and that's that.”
Oh dear.
We managed to finish the game without anyone mysteriously “falling” overboard, and went to bed exhausted.
Next morning an enormous breakfast courtesy of Michael (the new Jamie Oliver) and more sailing. Una decided she was going to go for a run, and while she only wanted to do about five miles, she ended up doing about double that. While she ran we boated up the river and met her at our next mooring. The dock was one of those that float in the middle of the river, so when Una finally showed up, Michael went to pick her up from the shore in the angling dinghy. Unfortunately Una's knight in shining armour turned out more a court jester as as Una was alighting the dinghy to get onto the boat, he manoeuvred the dinghy in such a way as to make poor Una fall headlong into the Shannon. Oops. Una took it well though, and it provided much humour value for the rest of us. Thanks Una.
We boated all day, and Mark, whos family lives in Killaloe and has his own speedboat came to meet us for a bit. He took us for a spin in his boat (totally fun) and we met his girlfriend Jean (who we all agreed looks scarily like Cameron Diaz - perhaps she should try out to be Cameron's stunt double?).
That night we went to a restaurant called “Gooser's”, which, although it has a completely stupid name, also features delicious seafood. I had crab salad and some other fish thing with mustard sauce, yummy. The portions were enormous and I was completely full afterwards and so relished the walk home in the balmy air. We got back to the boat and played cards for a while, thankfully this turned out to be rather more good-natured than the Trivial Pursuit for some reason! Surprisingly I turned out to be rather good at the game we played (beginner's luck maybe?) as I'm usually a disaster at cards.
Next morning I felt not so great, so I spent the best part of the day sleeping. In my bed, on the deck, on the prow, in Gary's car on the way home, wherever I was, I was asleep. It's not like we did all that much over the weekend to tire me out, but I just wasn't feeling well. Pity though as it was a beautiful day (we were really lucky with the weather). It was sad having to go home, but every experience has an expiry date unfortunately - and we do have to go back to work eventually and earn a living! Fortunately Una got lots of good material out of the trip to help her recommendations to Failte Ireland, so the trip actually served some useful purpose other than just a fun weekend away.
I got back home exhausted, so I pretty much just went to bed without unpacking. I had nothing ready for work the next day, but when am I ever organised? It's weird, I'm so organised at work but my private life is a complete mess. It's like I have a specific organization quota that I can use, and I use it all up at work and don't have any left over for my life. But what's life without a little chaos, right?
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
No Milk Today, My Love Has Gone Away
Before I move on to other things, just let me tell you a little story that will further illustrate the point of how fabulous my job is. This is so incredible I can barely believe it.
My boss, Gary, went on holidays to Toronto for 10 days. She came back Friday the 7th, and therefore the next business day would be Monday the 10th. We welcomed her back, everything was going swimmingly, I was making arrangements for her that I had been putting off until she got back (so that she could confirm or change them, not because I was being lazy). I had just scheduled an appointment for her for Monday with a director of one of our biggest clients, when she asked me, very nonchalantly (so nonchalantly that I didn't pick up the subtle note of impending doom in her voice),
“Lucia, am I going to the Bord Gais board meeting in Cork on Monday?”
I replied with confidence, “Sure, all your flights are booked, the relevant people are informed, all you have to do is show up.”
To which she replied, with a hint of amusement, “Then why have I six other appointments here in Dublin that day?”
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
I buried my head in my hands, screwing my eyelids shut tight, in the futile hope that if I couldn't see the world, it would suddenly cease to exist. In the world of Personal Assisting, there is no cardinal sin bigger than diary cock-ups. Especially in Genesis, where the kind of people we deal with are the crème de la crème of the corporate ladder (usually directors, board members, CEOs, etc). Getting an hour alone with these people requires the same organisational and logistical efforts of say, the Dublin Marathon. Usually they (well, their PAs) know us and will make time for us, but re-scheduling can be and usually is a nightmare. Not to mention I'd totally screwed up Gary's week!
So, what was Gary's reaction to this debacle? My mind was racing with everything from “Oh, my god, I'm soooo embarrassed” to “I'll be sacked”. But Gary wasn't angry, or even disappointed. She just said,
“Well, Lucia, it's nice to know even you are fallible.”
WHAT??? Not only was she not going to make me feel bad about the enormous oversight I'd just committed, but she managed to find a way to compliment me about it!?! What an incredibly emotionally mature way to deal with the situation. Imagine the kind of place the workplace (indeed the world) would be if everyone chose to react in that supportive fashion instead of dishing out a heap of retribution. I still felt bad about my mistake, but I sure felt a hell of a lot better, and after I'd finished mentally beating myself about the head, I went into damage control mode, re-scheduling what I could and cancelling what I couldn't. Luck actually went my way as none of the clients seemed too put out by the changes (it doesn't always happen that way!). So that was the end of that. Unbelievable.
The other thing is - we're going boating! We're doing a project with Failte Ireland, the Irish tourist authority, into the Inland Cruising industry here in Ireland, so we have to do some product testing! Six of us (Gary, Michael, Una, Bridget, me and John O'Regan, the graphic designer we usually use to do the creative on our projects) are hiring a 9 berth cruiser for the weekend of the 21st/22nd/23rd of July and are going cruising on the Shannon! It's going to be soooo much fun! I'm in charge of all the organisation (hahahaha! The girl who couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery is taking care of the holiday arrangements of six people!) which is a bit scary, but ok. My colleagues are all great and loads of fun so I know we're going to have a great time, even if it rains for three days (though I really, really hope the weather is good, so we can swim and fish off the boat). The only unknown is John O'Regan, whom I've never met but from all reports is a raging alcoholic insomniac who smokes like a chimney. He could be awesome fun, or he could be a disaster. Every time we mentioned that John was coming, someone in the office would say, “Really? John? Oh, my goodness!”. After that happened two or three times I began to get intrigued as to exactly what kind of character we were dealing with here. I said,
“I'm kind of interested to meet this guy - everyone I've told that he's coming on this trip has had that reaction.” To which Roddy replied,
“You're exactly the type of bird he goes for; slightly left of centre. You know, a bit oddball. Wacky.”. Which is one of the most pleasing descriptions of my character I have ever heard, though you can judge for yourself whether or not it is accurate.
Anyway, enough about work. I've finally, after wanting to do it for aaages, started salsa classes. Shelly, the little genius, found classes that are:
a) close to home
b) only €8.00 and
c) really good.
I've only been to one class so far, but it was really fun and the teacher is good, actually correcting tecnique instead of just doing something and saying “copy me!”. Shelly and I are going together, and I think Marie is going to come too. Maybe Sabrina too, and if I mention it to Maria maybe she will come, who knows?
Another thing I've been putting off for ages is being part of some kind of organised sport. I found a football club just up the road from work with a ladies team - which would be absolutely perfect only training is on Mondays and Wednesdays, the same as the salsa. So perhaps I will try basketball or another sport instead. The idea is recreational, just have fun and meet people while doing something active, rather than taking it very seriously. But it's taking me a little while to find something suitable, close by and not a super dooper good team (the more tragic, the better). I need to play with crappy people!
A third thing that I've been putting off for ages and am finally getting around to doing is looking into becoming an adult literacy tutor. I find the literacy levels in supposedly developed countries like Ireland and Australia an absolute disgrace, and am going to do my bit to help. Furthermore it's downright dangerous for adults not to be able to read and write - both legally (how are they supposed to read contracts to sign them?) and physically (how do they read the correct dosage on medicine packaging?). The training courses don't start until September but I'm putting my name down now because this is something I really want to do.
I finally got into the World Cup - haven't missed a match in ages. All my teams are now out of the competition (well, to tell the truth Italy and France are the only two left) but I went to see France v. Portugal with my French flatmate, and although I was supporting Portugal in the end I was glad they didn't win; what bad sports they were! Tripping over every blade of grass on the pitch and beating up all the French players. I was appalled. Now I hope that Italy will take the cup, I was going for them before this whole thing started, much to the angerment (I think I just made up that word) of Marie, my French flatmate.
Now that I mention it, I don't think I told you about her before. Ilona, my old Polish roommate, fulfilled her dream of moving to London and working at Lucky Voice Karaoke, but that left us with a hole in the flat and the rent. That was filled by Marie, a 25 year old marine biology intern from Lyon. She's doing her final internship at Trinity College, has pictures of dolphins and jellyfish on her wall, loves aperitifs and hates Fabien Barthez (well, who doesn't).
Now it looks like Shelly and I will be leaving Bolton Street for slightly greener pastures. Well, not really, we're just going to be moving to a different part of the same paddock, since we really like the location we live in now but can't stand the flat we live in any more and furthermore it's just time, after a year, to have our own rooms. Our own space. As much as I love sharing a room (the company is good and it keeps costs down), privacy is a privilege that I have come to cherish over this last year. So we are (very slowly, without much motivation, since everyone hates moving) looking for a new place. But I am again coming to the same conclusion I came to when I was first flat-hunting here a year ago - Dublin is incredibly expensive.
Last night was the World Cup Grand Final, and what a game it was. I'll spare you the details as you either saw it or clearly don't give a damn about football, but the football was stylish and skilful, the atmosphere where we were was great (although I was supporting Italy and the place was full of French) and a great time was had by all (until the end, of course). Never have I been in such an enclosed space with so many testosterone-charged, hyper-tensioned Mediterranean men. If the smell of sweat wasn't so pervasive it could have been quite erotic. The only downers of the night were the Zidane debacle, and Trezeguet's face after it was all over. But even though none of my teams won, or even made it to the final, there's something so powerful about the image of the cup being lifted high, that I couldn't help but cheer my guts out. The other image that stuck with me was Zidane walking dejectedly back to the dressing rooms after being sent off - right past the World Cup.
As for me, my life is a little emptier without the beautiful game. I managed to move to the only country in Europe where football is not the main winter sport (it barely rates next to the Gaelic games). But I will fill it with other things, and wait it out until 2010.
I liked ending my blog last time with bits and pieces, so I will do so again. Here we go...
I'm planning a weekend in Lyon to go to Marie's birthday party...it's going to be soooo much fun, let's see how much of my high school French I can remember!
I've discovered a brand of Indian ready meals at Lidl for less than three euro a pop which don't have any additives and they use real spices (I can taste the fenugreek and I'm pretty sure I bit into a piece of clove). As I am now officially the laziest person in Dublin with regards to cooking this is a pot of treasure.
Last week the main printer at the office started to make bad clanking noises. We bought it last July, the 18th apparently. It's like they're programmed to break when the warranty's up. Hopefully I can get it fixed for free.
I have no appropriate summer clothes but summer is so short and cold here it's not really worth buying anything. Today I wore a skivvy and a skirt and I wasn't even hot.
I'm starting to think I over-analyse everything and take things too seriously.
Mark at work is a real prankster. Today he rang the bell and when I went to let him in there was nobody there. Sure enough he was waiting squished up next to the wall to jump out and scare me.
Paul Kelly's playing at the Village on the 24th. I really should buy tickets.
Sometimes, when I'm walking to and from work, I'm listening to my iPod, and a really good song comes on, and I smile, and someone walking the opposite way sees me and smiles back. That rocks. The other day I was listening to "Son of a Preacher Man" and miming the words and bopping along, and this guy beeped at me and gave me the thumbs up. Yeah.
A banana from the SPAR on the way to work costs me about 45 euro cents. This is outrageous.
Tonight I must go to bed early as last night I went at midnight (damn the match. Can't remember the last time I watched a match that didn't end in penalties!). On that note I will say, take care, see you soon! (And happy Independence Day for yesterday to all the Argies!)
Below you can find some pics of my flatmates, my ex-flatmates and I when Maria and Diana came to Dublin for a visit. The first pic is of some of the girls I've lived with so far (not all) but all of them live at Bolton Street/have lived at Bolton Street at some point. The last few are me, Maria, Maria and Diana (the original Bolton Streeters) pulling ridiculous faces to make ourselves laugh. Don't tell them I posted these here, they'll kill me.
My boss, Gary, went on holidays to Toronto for 10 days. She came back Friday the 7th, and therefore the next business day would be Monday the 10th. We welcomed her back, everything was going swimmingly, I was making arrangements for her that I had been putting off until she got back (so that she could confirm or change them, not because I was being lazy). I had just scheduled an appointment for her for Monday with a director of one of our biggest clients, when she asked me, very nonchalantly (so nonchalantly that I didn't pick up the subtle note of impending doom in her voice),
“Lucia, am I going to the Bord Gais board meeting in Cork on Monday?”
I replied with confidence, “Sure, all your flights are booked, the relevant people are informed, all you have to do is show up.”
To which she replied, with a hint of amusement, “Then why have I six other appointments here in Dublin that day?”
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
I buried my head in my hands, screwing my eyelids shut tight, in the futile hope that if I couldn't see the world, it would suddenly cease to exist. In the world of Personal Assisting, there is no cardinal sin bigger than diary cock-ups. Especially in Genesis, where the kind of people we deal with are the crème de la crème of the corporate ladder (usually directors, board members, CEOs, etc). Getting an hour alone with these people requires the same organisational and logistical efforts of say, the Dublin Marathon. Usually they (well, their PAs) know us and will make time for us, but re-scheduling can be and usually is a nightmare. Not to mention I'd totally screwed up Gary's week!
So, what was Gary's reaction to this debacle? My mind was racing with everything from “Oh, my god, I'm soooo embarrassed” to “I'll be sacked”. But Gary wasn't angry, or even disappointed. She just said,
“Well, Lucia, it's nice to know even you are fallible.”
WHAT??? Not only was she not going to make me feel bad about the enormous oversight I'd just committed, but she managed to find a way to compliment me about it!?! What an incredibly emotionally mature way to deal with the situation. Imagine the kind of place the workplace (indeed the world) would be if everyone chose to react in that supportive fashion instead of dishing out a heap of retribution. I still felt bad about my mistake, but I sure felt a hell of a lot better, and after I'd finished mentally beating myself about the head, I went into damage control mode, re-scheduling what I could and cancelling what I couldn't. Luck actually went my way as none of the clients seemed too put out by the changes (it doesn't always happen that way!). So that was the end of that. Unbelievable.
The other thing is - we're going boating! We're doing a project with Failte Ireland, the Irish tourist authority, into the Inland Cruising industry here in Ireland, so we have to do some product testing! Six of us (Gary, Michael, Una, Bridget, me and John O'Regan, the graphic designer we usually use to do the creative on our projects) are hiring a 9 berth cruiser for the weekend of the 21st/22nd/23rd of July and are going cruising on the Shannon! It's going to be soooo much fun! I'm in charge of all the organisation (hahahaha! The girl who couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery is taking care of the holiday arrangements of six people!) which is a bit scary, but ok. My colleagues are all great and loads of fun so I know we're going to have a great time, even if it rains for three days (though I really, really hope the weather is good, so we can swim and fish off the boat). The only unknown is John O'Regan, whom I've never met but from all reports is a raging alcoholic insomniac who smokes like a chimney. He could be awesome fun, or he could be a disaster. Every time we mentioned that John was coming, someone in the office would say, “Really? John? Oh, my goodness!”. After that happened two or three times I began to get intrigued as to exactly what kind of character we were dealing with here. I said,
“I'm kind of interested to meet this guy - everyone I've told that he's coming on this trip has had that reaction.” To which Roddy replied,
“You're exactly the type of bird he goes for; slightly left of centre. You know, a bit oddball. Wacky.”. Which is one of the most pleasing descriptions of my character I have ever heard, though you can judge for yourself whether or not it is accurate.
Anyway, enough about work. I've finally, after wanting to do it for aaages, started salsa classes. Shelly, the little genius, found classes that are:
a) close to home
b) only €8.00 and
c) really good.
I've only been to one class so far, but it was really fun and the teacher is good, actually correcting tecnique instead of just doing something and saying “copy me!”. Shelly and I are going together, and I think Marie is going to come too. Maybe Sabrina too, and if I mention it to Maria maybe she will come, who knows?
Another thing I've been putting off for ages is being part of some kind of organised sport. I found a football club just up the road from work with a ladies team - which would be absolutely perfect only training is on Mondays and Wednesdays, the same as the salsa. So perhaps I will try basketball or another sport instead. The idea is recreational, just have fun and meet people while doing something active, rather than taking it very seriously. But it's taking me a little while to find something suitable, close by and not a super dooper good team (the more tragic, the better). I need to play with crappy people!
A third thing that I've been putting off for ages and am finally getting around to doing is looking into becoming an adult literacy tutor. I find the literacy levels in supposedly developed countries like Ireland and Australia an absolute disgrace, and am going to do my bit to help. Furthermore it's downright dangerous for adults not to be able to read and write - both legally (how are they supposed to read contracts to sign them?) and physically (how do they read the correct dosage on medicine packaging?). The training courses don't start until September but I'm putting my name down now because this is something I really want to do.
I finally got into the World Cup - haven't missed a match in ages. All my teams are now out of the competition (well, to tell the truth Italy and France are the only two left) but I went to see France v. Portugal with my French flatmate, and although I was supporting Portugal in the end I was glad they didn't win; what bad sports they were! Tripping over every blade of grass on the pitch and beating up all the French players. I was appalled. Now I hope that Italy will take the cup, I was going for them before this whole thing started, much to the angerment (I think I just made up that word) of Marie, my French flatmate.
Now that I mention it, I don't think I told you about her before. Ilona, my old Polish roommate, fulfilled her dream of moving to London and working at Lucky Voice Karaoke, but that left us with a hole in the flat and the rent. That was filled by Marie, a 25 year old marine biology intern from Lyon. She's doing her final internship at Trinity College, has pictures of dolphins and jellyfish on her wall, loves aperitifs and hates Fabien Barthez (well, who doesn't).
Now it looks like Shelly and I will be leaving Bolton Street for slightly greener pastures. Well, not really, we're just going to be moving to a different part of the same paddock, since we really like the location we live in now but can't stand the flat we live in any more and furthermore it's just time, after a year, to have our own rooms. Our own space. As much as I love sharing a room (the company is good and it keeps costs down), privacy is a privilege that I have come to cherish over this last year. So we are (very slowly, without much motivation, since everyone hates moving) looking for a new place. But I am again coming to the same conclusion I came to when I was first flat-hunting here a year ago - Dublin is incredibly expensive.
Last night was the World Cup Grand Final, and what a game it was. I'll spare you the details as you either saw it or clearly don't give a damn about football, but the football was stylish and skilful, the atmosphere where we were was great (although I was supporting Italy and the place was full of French) and a great time was had by all (until the end, of course). Never have I been in such an enclosed space with so many testosterone-charged, hyper-tensioned Mediterranean men. If the smell of sweat wasn't so pervasive it could have been quite erotic. The only downers of the night were the Zidane debacle, and Trezeguet's face after it was all over. But even though none of my teams won, or even made it to the final, there's something so powerful about the image of the cup being lifted high, that I couldn't help but cheer my guts out. The other image that stuck with me was Zidane walking dejectedly back to the dressing rooms after being sent off - right past the World Cup.
As for me, my life is a little emptier without the beautiful game. I managed to move to the only country in Europe where football is not the main winter sport (it barely rates next to the Gaelic games). But I will fill it with other things, and wait it out until 2010.
I liked ending my blog last time with bits and pieces, so I will do so again. Here we go...
I'm planning a weekend in Lyon to go to Marie's birthday party...it's going to be soooo much fun, let's see how much of my high school French I can remember!
I've discovered a brand of Indian ready meals at Lidl for less than three euro a pop which don't have any additives and they use real spices (I can taste the fenugreek and I'm pretty sure I bit into a piece of clove). As I am now officially the laziest person in Dublin with regards to cooking this is a pot of treasure.
Last week the main printer at the office started to make bad clanking noises. We bought it last July, the 18th apparently. It's like they're programmed to break when the warranty's up. Hopefully I can get it fixed for free.
I have no appropriate summer clothes but summer is so short and cold here it's not really worth buying anything. Today I wore a skivvy and a skirt and I wasn't even hot.
I'm starting to think I over-analyse everything and take things too seriously.
Mark at work is a real prankster. Today he rang the bell and when I went to let him in there was nobody there. Sure enough he was waiting squished up next to the wall to jump out and scare me.
Paul Kelly's playing at the Village on the 24th. I really should buy tickets.
Sometimes, when I'm walking to and from work, I'm listening to my iPod, and a really good song comes on, and I smile, and someone walking the opposite way sees me and smiles back. That rocks. The other day I was listening to "Son of a Preacher Man" and miming the words and bopping along, and this guy beeped at me and gave me the thumbs up. Yeah.
A banana from the SPAR on the way to work costs me about 45 euro cents. This is outrageous.
Tonight I must go to bed early as last night I went at midnight (damn the match. Can't remember the last time I watched a match that didn't end in penalties!). On that note I will say, take care, see you soon! (And happy Independence Day for yesterday to all the Argies!)
Below you can find some pics of my flatmates, my ex-flatmates and I when Maria and Diana came to Dublin for a visit. The first pic is of some of the girls I've lived with so far (not all) but all of them live at Bolton Street/have lived at Bolton Street at some point. The last few are me, Maria, Maria and Diana (the original Bolton Streeters) pulling ridiculous faces to make ourselves laugh. Don't tell them I posted these here, they'll kill me.
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